AG Barr Says Epstein ‘Likely Murdered’ by Clintons or Others

After Fox News so appropriately reported that one of the bones in Jeffrey Epstein’s neck only breaks in some suicides by hanging, that there is enough reasonable doubt to institute an inquiry into his death and what the Clintons and other powerful people associated with the monster might know.

At a press conference this morning, Barr’s security double (pictured above), Art Tubolls, delivered this message:

“The hyoid bone only fractures in a minor number of cases that usually involve the victim having to be creative to get the job done. I call that probable cause and have issued warrants and orders to search and seize anything related to Epstein from the Clinton Foundation, which was raided moments ago.”

In addition to the question of the hyoid bone, doctors are also baffled by the himpholyphius malajustus joint in the pelvioris dolestra region of the quadrapelt. They believe it was ruptured by a “blunt force trauma” and not self-inflicted strangulation.

Basically, the story that Epstein killed himself is falling apart. The more investigators look into the hypotenuse of the triangle of corruptivity, it’s all over for the Clintons. They are denying any involvement, of course, insisting that Clinton hasn’t seen Epstein in over 10 years and that the visits to his islands were for sunbathing and mojitos.

Barr says the investigation will begin by re-examining Epstein’s body at the NSA, far from where the Clinton FBI can taint the evidence if they haven’t already.

About Flagg Eagleton 109 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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