Rudy Giuliani Opens Official White House Investigation Into Epstein Murder

White House Chief Counsel and personal aide to the President, Rudy Giuliani, has announced that he’s launching an official investigation into the obvious murder of Jeffrey Epstein to cover up crimes of the Clintons. According to Giuliani’s Director of Propaganda, Art Tubolls:

“I think everyone is okay with the monster being gone, but we’ve now missed out on valuable testimony that could have exposed every single Democrat as a criminal. Either they went or they knew and covered it up. And now, very conveniently, he’s dead?

I think we all have to ask ourselves…’who has the most to gain?’ The answer is simple. The Clintons.”

Giuliani wants to know why a man on suicide watch was suddenly removed and left alone with a six-foot length of rope. He wants to know who would benefit from this kind of thing. He wants to know who robbed the victims of their day in court. Most of all, he wants to make sure he wasn’t listed on any of the pedo island manifests, which was something someone would surely do as a preemptive strike against a man of Rudy’s stature.

We’ve been promised that all of these questions will be answered and the Clintons will finally pay. Won’t it be great if the murder they end up going down for is the only one that serves the public interest?

Finally, the Clintons provide a service.

About Flagg Eagleton 103 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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