Pelosi Stops Bill to Make English the Official Language of the U.S.


When it comes to legislating, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi certainly seems to be a giant turtle in the ointment.  Written by Republican Senator Owen Humperlamp of South Dakota, house bill BT1138 would have legally and officially cemented English as the recognized language of the United States of America.  It would have, until Pelosi stopped it without a second thought this afternoon using her Speakership veto authority.  The bill is now effectively deader than Lavoy Finicum.

You know what these things would be great for? Storming Area 51.

As most people who aren’t drooling teabaggers know, the United States does not have an exclusive official language.  But all good, solid, LEGAL citizens speak English, right? So what problem does the Speaker have with the bill?  Pelosi to San Francisco’s Rainbow Gazette earlier:

“It’s unnecessary.  The country doesn’t need any official language.  We’re a melting pot of different cultures and languages.  I think when you peel back the curtain, this is all about appeasing the racist Trumpy crowd who lose their marbles when they hear Spanish at the supermarket.  Deal with it.”

First they took our Abba. Next they’ll be coming for our Air Supply.

Pelosi vetoed the bill around noon, and quickly exited the chambers of Congress in order to reserve a stool at nearby drinking establishment The Broken Drum for the 1:00 Day Drinker Vodka Special.

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