‘Trump Baby’ Balloon Dismantled and Confiscated by Secret Service

President Trump instructed the Secret Service to remove the disrespectful “Trump Baby” balloon after they informed him that its placement could increase blind spots, making the area less secure.

According to Special Agent in Charge of Operational Propaganda, Art Tubolls:

“We informed President Trump that our statisticians had increased the likelihood of a successful assassination atempt by nearly 30 percent of a full percent, which was unnacceptable to him. The total number remains classified, but let’s just say it’s not high.

Still, and increased risk is an increased risk.”

The handlers were instructed to step aside while Secret Service agents took the balloon down — and not by traditional means:

“Agents were instructed to remove and confiscate the balloon, so they popped it with marshmallow sticks and cut it into pieces before tossing it in trash bags and hauling it away. That’s what happens when you’re told to keep your toys at home and you bring them to school anyway.”

The liberals in charge of the balloon were told it was up to the security on the National Mall and that there was no guarantee that their traitorous attack on the President would fly. Some are saying it was some petty attempt by Trump to have the embarrassing balloon removed. The reality is, liberals don’t care about safety.

About Flagg Eagleton 98 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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