Nancy Pelosi Dropped From Her Life Insurance Company as ‘A Health Risk’

Nancy Pelosi was delivered some bad news today from one of her insurance carriers. Because of her alcohol abuse, they will no longer help her loved ones with final expenses like burial, credit cards, and other bills.

That’s right. Colonial Life, the Insurance guaranteed to anyone over 65 regardless of health, considers Nancy Pelosi a health risk. A spokesman for the company clarified their position:

“We offer a small settlement to families in need who pay their premiums in good faith. The Pelosis are often late with their payments, which they blame on Nancy’s ‘forgetfulness.’ It’s not often we pull a policy, especially one that pays out this much.”

Colonial Life’s typical policy is for $6K in expenses for as little as $12 per month. Pelosi has been carrying more than $120K worth of these policies because no reputable term life company would sign her.

According to Pelosi’s spokesman, they aren’t too worried about it:

“Colonial is more for the Brimleys and their diabeetus. Nancy isn’t a health risk because a bunch of people online believe she’s an alcoholic. The Pelosi family understands the company’s position.”

Yeah, well…those “people online” are us, pal, and we don’t think she’s an alcoholic, we know it. There are a bunch of stories on this website alone that corroborate it. In today’s day and age of fake news and stuff, you have to doublecheck everything.

About Flagg Eagleton 108 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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