According to Forbes, Barack Obama is World’s 14th Richest Man

UNBELIEVABLE!

The venerable monetary publication Forbes Magazine is well known for it’s economic index, investment-related articles, and listings of wealth.  That magazine is not to be confused, however, with Lester “Boom Boom” Forbes of Scrotopia Falls, Alabama.

Lester is single and claims he : “ain’t found the right waffle waitress yet.”

Last evening, Mr. Forbes entered the local drinking establishment, “Suckin’ Sudsy’s”, and treated himself to sixteen rounds of Pabst Blue Ribbon ale.  (During this time, his dentures fell out of his mouth four times and in attempting to retrieve them, Lester lost his footing and fell, a common occurrence, hence the nickname “Boom Boom.”)  At the bar, a newsbreak during Walker, Texas Ranger showed a brief glimpse of former President Obama.  That’s when Mr. Forbes made an announcement :

“Look at that idiot.  Hic.  Hesh probably rish.  I BET hesh like, the fourteenth rishest guy in the world.  Hic. I hatesh him.”

Forbes was at his job the next day at the town turpentine factory, where he was asked to clarify his statement :

“Look, I was drunker than an uncle in a whorehouse last night.  No idea what I said.  Or who to.  Now git.”

“I know how he feels.”

Although Forbes’ declaration is laughably untrue, several maga-hatted tri-toothed dimwits were witnessed applauding his courage and dipshittery on the street the next day.

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