Nancy Pelosi’s Church Asks Her To Leave Until She ‘Finds God and Gets Help’

The Archbishop of San Fransisco had to personally call on Nancy Pelosi at her home today to ask her to not come to church anymore. The decision, which was made by the local diocese but approved by Papal Decree from Rome, is a step short of excommunication.

Archbishop Art Tubolls released this statement:

“Until Nancy can get her demons under control and stop drinking, she isn’t welcome in the Lord’s house. Last week she fell asleep and vomited all over Mrs. Kensington. The week before that she wore a pantsuit with no pants and it wasn’t long before that we were having her driven home after a fist fight at the Prayer Breakfast.

How does a person even get that drunk at 7 AM?

We’re praying she gets the help she needs.”

This isn’t the first time Pelosi has embarrassed herself with her drinking. We’ve reported on many occasions about her drunken adventures. We’ve never sourced or proven any of it, of course, because we’ve all heard the stories about how much she spent on airplane drinks.

Isn’t that enough? They were also proven not to be true, but the stories had to start somewhere. Pelosi continues to say she doesn’t drink. Maybe she boofs with Brett Kavanaugh.

 

About Flagg Eagleton 84 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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