Senior Mailman Brian Kolfage was in New York today to obtain licensing and permits for several private sections of border wall from the Federal Government’s New York Board of Border Wall Licensing. After obtaining a license to construct a 30-foot wall along a piece of private property in Texas, Kolfage was headed into Panera Bread for lunch when De Niro walked out.
According to reports, De Niro looked at Kolfage, called him a “punk” and spit on him. Kolfage called to a nearby beat cop, who responded by shaking De Niro’s hand and telling Kolfage, “suck it up, snowflake. There’s a safe space inside.”
Kolfage went into the restaurant and immediately called his lawyer, who advised him to walk away and not make a scene or he’d end up “face down on the sidewalk with a boot on his neck and a bag of crack planted in his pocket.” Kolfage canceled his overnight plans and took an Uber to Newark, refusing to stay in New York another second.
De Niro then stood around with local liberal cops, signing autographs and pretending he’s three inches taller than he is. His PR rep released this as an official statement, which is probably meant as some kind of joke.
We think Kolfage should sue. Nobody who got blown up should be disrespected, no matter how much they scam their followers. True Kolfage supporters know that at the very least, our money goes to owning the libs.