Alyssa Milano, liberal actress and self-proclaimed “activist,” decided that the best way to “strike back” against conservative pro-life legislation was to organize a “sex strike,” The strike is meant to teach men that abortion isn’t exclusively a woman’s issue. Conservatives responded by saying, “thank you! We’ve been saying that all along.!”
Milano ended up sparking a revolution among men to stop the women they have cheap flings with from having abortions. Conservative men aren’t known to be particularly picky, so some girl from last call who doesn’t care if she gets pregnant because she has 10 months to get an “abortion” in states like California can take advantage of them by moving to Georgia, where the personhood law means they can start collecting welfare and child support when they’re 6 weeks pregnant.
By calling for a strike, however, Milano has instead energized a wave of men willing to use her own campaign against her. According to the Society for the Protection of the American Alpha Male’s website:
“Men are proving that they don’t actually need women now that they’ve discovered the catalog of Alyssa Milano photos from the 1990s. The Society reports than men born between 1967 and 1975 are more likely to be in love with Ms. Milano than their own wives.”
Essentially, by trying to prove that men can’t live without turning liberal women on Tinder into baby-killing abominations to the Lord, Milano has started a movement of celibacy that will ultimately end with those misfired children — that will never be — landing on a screen instead of actually being conceived only to be murdered for sport.
For this one, we should thank Allysa Milano. Her general good looks and ability to distract conservative men like a shiny object have made her the perfect weapon against abortion. Thanks, Allysa! I look forward to fighting my primal urges to sin before the Lord by Googling you in leather pants.