Brian Kolfage Provides Photo Proof of The Wall Being Built

Senior Mailman Brian Kolfage has been pressured the past few days to release proof of the progress being made at the southern border. In response, Bri-Bri released a series of photographs to prove they’re busy doing God’s work of keeping bad people from achieving their hopes and dreams.

The first photograph, seen above, is a crew working to build a practice wall around the new Kolfage Border Compound, a $3 million state-of-the-art facility that can house 60 men, feed 100, arm 1000 and costs the taxpayers nothing. From that compound, Kolfage plans to move outward to bordering ranches, though he hasn’t had a ton of luck with the locals.

A collection of volunteers brought heavy equipment, rain gear, and Reese’s Pieces.

Art Tubolls, who owns 103 miles of border property, says he wasn’t quite sure of what to make of Kolfage’s proposal:

“His methods are a bit weird to me. He wanted to build a motel-like structure with a lodge for him and his family to oversee the project. I admire that, but this thing is temporary and was gonna cost me $180K. He said that’s a steal since it will be wheelchair accessible. I don’t know why anyone would want to live in a lodge that faces the Rio Grande now but will look directly at a 30-foot wall in just under 10 years. I said no, but I don’t fault the boy for trying.”

Kolfage’s plan has always included himself and his team of experts like Steve Bannon and Scott “The Chach” Baio living on-site to make sure there’s no overspending, waste, or corruption with our $20 million. The land he built the temporary compound on was donated by Ted Nugent and Kid Rock, who have vowed to play a show to build support for Kolfage as soon as the first segment of wall is complete, sometime in early 2023.

“Break stuff with heavy machinery” is just one of the courses offered to volunteers — for a fee — at the Kolfage Compound.

Kolfage himself has urged his fans and followers to remain vigilant and above all else — silent. Brian won’t stand for anyone questioning what happens to their money after it’s been processed and Board of Director salaries for the nonprofit have been paid.

Kolfage has promised a complete unveiling of the locations of the actual wall being built as soon as it’s safe for him to do so. If he builds things on private property before then, he’s asking for trouble with the liberals. It makes perfect sense.

Liberals released that video to show that Kolfage’s wall will “taste like bitter disappointment…if it happens at all.” Sure, Libbers. Whatever.

About Flagg Eagleton 62 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.