Tucker Carlson Attacked and ‘Cut’ While Ordering a Sandwich

Tucker Carlson is in good condition this afternoon after being attacked in New York City while ordering a sandwich. Carlson was in line at Katz’ Deli, his favorite pastrami place, when a woman wearing one of those silly “pink pussy” hats attacked him with a napkin holder. According to deli manager, Art Tubolls:

“She was a good customer. What can I say. Tucker comes here a lot but I think he understands that he’s considered a bit of a racist douche around here.”

Carlson did, in fact, admit that one of the reasons he loves Katz Deli so much is the “friendly banter with all those liberal Jews.” Indeed, Katz’ is fully Kosher and as Jewish as they get. Carlson once told Shawn Hannity:

“I like Jews. They worship the same God, they just haven’t got the New Testament part right yet. But those Muslamics? What the heck do they even worship? The Moon? Stars? Goats? What?”

That interview, while it didn’t do his career any favors, shows that he wasn’t there to argue or confront people, as the lying liberal media will report. He was there for a sandwich. Pastrami — maybe corned beef. On a special day, he would order a Reuben.

Now, Tucker Carlson will never go back. He will, instead, have his favorite sandwich delivered to his apartment uptown. Such a shame.

The woman who attacked Carlson ran from the scene and will probably never be seen again. New York is a hell of a town.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 154 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.