Teary Eyed Chelsea Says Goodbye -Takes Mom Off of Life Support

Chelsea Clinton has made some poor choices. She chose Arkansas State when she was offered a full ride to Yale. She chose to run the Clinton Foundation when she could have lived a life free of crime. She continues to choose to bless people when she tweets, even though they don’t deserve it.

But today, Chelsea had to make a choice nobody should have to. After her mother was pronounced brain-dead from acute head trauma, Chelsea had to pull the plug. According to the family spokesman, Art Tubolls:

“Mrs. Clinton suffered an acute edema of the fourth aortic tympanic artery. When Chelsea shut her off, she was surrounded by her family and loved ones and a lawyer and historian and the guy from TMZ.”

The Clinton family says they’re grateful for the thoughts and prayers coming in from across the country and that this Saturday tradition has been revived.

About Flagg Eagleton 133 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.