Jury Awards Sheriff Joe Arpaio $140 Million Lawsuit Against Sacha Baron Cohen

Sacha Baron Cohen thought it would be hilarious to bring some absurd conservative characters to life to troll a few “witless conservatives” in his little HBO special. It wasn’t hilarious, however, and the network lost millions.

In fact, they canceled it after just one short season.

Now, Cohen has been held personally responsible by a jury in Arizona for defaming his character, slandering his good name, and “the stupification of the Arpaio brand.” Joe’s spokesman, the legendary Art Tubolls, told Fox News:

“This guy came in and made a fool of poor Joe. He took avantage of a good Christian with his trickery. He calls it ‘satire’ or some crap but it was just lies. All nothing but lies. Sheriff Joe is happy to have his good name back and looks forward to spending his winnings while poor refugees and immigrants watch. This is America. Don’t like it? Leave.”

Tubolls, who is famous for writing the ending to Thelma and Louise, says Sheriff Joe doesn’t care what people think of him anymore.

Cohen responded in true libturd style:

“Of course he doesn’t care. He’s an old white guy with untold riches living his golden years on golf courses in Conservaturdia where he’s revered by the members and hated by the staff. At the end of the day, he’s all about the hookers and blow like the rest of us.”

Cohen says he’ll have no problem coughing up the money out of his “failure” of a mega-hit short series. “As a matter of fact, I’ll just let my insurance company handle it.”

We were able to confirm that Cohen is in good hands.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 150 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.