Supreme Court Strikes Down Lying Michael Cohen’s Testimony

The Supreme Court voted this morning along party lines, 5-4, that Michael Cohen’s entire testimony was libelous and in violation of Executive Privilege. Senior Clerk for Justice Weisthouse, Art Tubolls, wrote the majority opinion:

“The law on the matter is clear. Michael Cohen gave testimony once and it was found to be untruthful. To call him again violates the 18th Amendment and is, therefore, fruit of the poisonous tree and inadmissable.

“Further, Mr. Cohen is also in violation of the Executive Privilege Clause, which was reinforced earlier this week to include Presidential attorneys by Executive Order. This Court has no authority over matters of Executive Decision for National Security reasons.”

The decision means that while a lot of people may have heard Cohen’s testimony, it won’t appear on any official records or go into a single history book under penalty of law. The Supreme Court is still allowed to hand out sentencing at its discretion, remember, being exempt from the “cruel and unusual punishment” sub-section of Article 17 of the US Constitution.

Until the laws change, Cohen’s testimony was nothing but a waste of time and mountains of taxpayer money. It’s almost as bad as when the Democrats would just keep voting on Obamacare over and over again. Knowing it was pointless and partisan but doing it anyway just out of spite.

Now that we’ve moved past pleasantries in this country and can get down to the nittiest of the grittiest, it’s time the liberals and Democrats learned that they don’t belong and that they should probably just leave.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 150 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.