DC Madame Arrested With Book full of ‘Perverted’ Democrats

A private club in Washington DC has been shut down and its owner arrested on charges of offering sex for sale to more than two dozen DC Democrats. Jackie LaMonica, a woman known by those who know her as a “shrill, uneducated, and foul-mouthed bigot,” was able to put on a show at night for her customers, pretending to be their friend and selling them pure fantasy.

Selling fantasy to Democrats is very, very easy.

Lamonica is cooperating fully with police in exchange for immunity and a disability check for life with no questions asked for her and her entire family. “If I can’t work anymore we’ll need to get by,” LaMonica told Fox News.

As for who is in the book, investigators say they have to keep a lid on that until they can get indictments for solicitation against nearly 30 politicians with powerful connections. DC Prosecutor, Art Tubolls, told us:

“The courts are already being cluttered with cases and motions unrelated to any of this. The DC lawyers are trying to make sure that if their clients are implicated, the courts will be backlogged, buying them some time.”

The only name to come out so far is Senator Stuart Boll from Maine, the Freshman Democrat endorsed by the Clintons. Boll is said to have frequented the establishment openly, not caring who knows, as he is a single man who believes in “the freedom of consenting adults to do what they want in private.”

The location remained hidden for nearly ten years. At first, it was in the basement of a pizza place, but when people got too close to the outfit for other reasons, they had to fill the basement with concrete and pretend it never existed. This time, the operation was even more clever:

“They moved every 3 or 4 days. From the Starbucks in L’Enfant Plaza┬áto the Chick-Fil-A on Dupont Circle,it moved nonstop. The owners of the storefronts may not have even realized what was going on.”

LaMonica is being deposed and presumably released to fix her bleach-blonde bob and ask for a manager.

About Flagg Eagleton 98 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.