BREAKING: Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft Just Bought and Donated 204 Miles of Border Wall Property

The NFL may not be all bad after all.

Two owners, both respected Republicans who support our President, have stepped forward with an amazing gift to the American people.

Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft have formed a coalition and purchased 204 miles of property on the Texas border the US Government has had a hard time purchasing.

Homeland Security spokesman Art Tubolls explains:

“The US Government owns very little of the propert they need to actually build the wall. We can’t take the property by eminent domain because the Texas Border is literally a river and their cattle all drink there.

It’s a problem the government simply couldn’t solve.”

It is a problem that wealthy American businessmen could solve, however. The coalition they formed, the JonesKraft Fortune Consortium, includes all of those ranchers who wouldn’t sell.

How did they get them to join?

It was easy. They sent JFC to give them an ultimatum: Either sell us your cattle and land or we’ll squash you like a bug. That’s the beauty of free markets and the power liberals are so afraid of. Those men are always working in the best interests of the working class because we all want to be just like them so they must be.

The 204 miles includes some gaps, as some ranchers said they’d give up their ranches just as soon as this “stopped being America.”

Those people obviously don’t understand that patriotism comes second to nationalism now. Trump said it himself.

The gaps in land will most likely need to be covered by private militia groups, improvised land mines, poisonous snakes and scorpions, etc, but we the people will make sure they keep their drugs in Mexico or Guam or wherever they live in South America.

Sorry, but Jesus was clear: America comes first. That means Americans come first.

About Flagg Eagleton 138 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.