Democrat Senator Caught Red-Handed Hiring Thousands of Facebook Trolls

Democrat Senator Stuart Boll (D-Maine) was arrested this morning after being caught red-handed paying the leader of a group of online trolls to “harass the Republican electorate.”

The exchange, caught on a wiretap from a confidential informant, shows that Boll paid millions to have trolls on Facebook wreak havoc on law-abiding citizens, often well-informed senior citizens.

FBI Field Director, Art Tubolls, says the problem has turned into a massive issue on the planet’s largest platform:

“These trolls are relentless. They call Republican voters who support Trump, watch Fox News and often ride mobility scooters ‘Potatoes,’ or ‘Taters.’ They feed these poor people stories and memes that are untrue just to make them looks stupid and expose their social weaknesses.

It’s very effective. Trump supporters in this category tend to be white, older, and probably a bit systemically racist by nature. That comes more from ignorance and a lack of education, as people from the same generation who actually stayed in school and don’t live life based on a cherry-picked set of biblical principles are far less likely to fall for such a ruse.

There are hundreds of thousands of these people. We’re charging Boll with assaulting each of them, and we’re investigating the ‘trolls’ he paid to make people look dumb for giggles, free ad cash and one of the greatest social experiments of all time.”

Facebook has shut down the page where all this madness began. Known in Trollandia™ as “LLOD” or “ALLOD.” The man who runs the page is clever, funny, and incredibly good-looking, but he’s also a cretin destroying the fabric of democracy, according to Snopes owner and cheating crackhead, Mavey Dicklephuck:

“It’s just junk news. It’s so not funny or satire. Also, please donate some money and click on some links and some ads and then donate some more money.”

Luckily, nobody takes those idiots seriously anymore anyway. They spend their days debunking satire for profit. The trolls and the Facebook page, luckily, have been dealt with. You won’t have to worry about those nasty jerks and their facts any longer. Thank God for that.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 160 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.