22 Russian Trolls Caught Using Democrat Funds To Operate

Russian trolls do exist. There was no collusion between them and Donald Trump, but they are out there. They are the ones who tricked conservatives into believing outlandish stories like “Democrats want to save your retirement funds” and “health insurance should be a human right, not a privilege for those who can afford it.” I mean…who buys that crap, right?

A few people might have, and every vote counts. As Republicans rally around the country trying to get as many people to vote as possible, they’re doing it legally. They check IDs and make sure your address is spelled correctly. They verify that you’re alive. In 7 out-of-10 cases, people voting early actually cast a legal Republican ballot, as opposed to the 100 percent who were just allowed to vote willy-nilly in Democrat land.

The Russian trolls have everything to do with that, too, signing up people who might not actually be eligible and trying to get voting for just anybody who was born here because “our Constitution says so.” Well, the Constitution says a lot of things we don’t adhere to like we shalt not murder babies. We don’t know who you are and since voter fraud almost cost Trump one election, we won’t let it happen again.

The Russians in custody were all taking money from Democrat candidates and Super PACs, according to a reputable source inside a circle of reputable people doing important things:

“Soros, Clinton, Obama…they all paid to have trolls try to fool conservatives into believing that welfare and food stamps cost less than a nickel on the dollar of your tax money or that the massive caravan from Honduras is actually fewer people than a Huey Lewis show at the Met. It’s all a big lie.”

Those crazy Dems. When will they learn that we will do literally anything to win. Anything.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 150 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.